Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Dr. Jekyll and Mamma Hyde
Do you ever feel as if you are two different people around your kids? I sure hope so because otherwise I am a VERY bad Mommy! I find myself either being nice Mommy or mean Mommy, and I really don't like mean Mommy. Usually it starts with A having her grandmal Tantrums (i.e. hitting, biting screaming and not calming down for nice Mommy) and then mean Mommy comes out and I find myself yelling back which of course does nothing for the situation, an it really doesn't make me feel any better either. URGH!!!! Any suggestions from you good Mommies out there??? Or even from those of you like me who feel like you aren't always the best Mommy? I would really love to have some sort of guidance on what is best to try.
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5 comments:
I had a lot of the same trauma's with my first one . . . it gets so much easier when you are older and just realize that kids are stinkers! (I meant to say, kids will be kids:). From the teacher standpoint, I have been trying different things the last few years . . . and here is what I suggest for your sanity!! Have a consequence that isn't too harsh, but frees you . . . and the kids need to know what the consequence is. Give the kids two chances (ONLY TWO - or Mamma Hyde will want to come out!!), the first time you say "Please. . . ", the second time you say, "I need you to . . . " THEN YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE CONSEQUENCE!! In extreme cases I don't even give two chances. When B is crying for no real reason, I will just tell him to go to his room until he is done crying. He will go crying (often screaming) but he has done it enough he knows I am serious and he goes. Then he comes back 1-5 minutes later with the most forced smile he can manage. I say something like, "Are you happy now? OH GOOD!" in the most cheerful voice. And we move on :) GOOD LUCK!
I think all mommies have good mommy and bad mommy. There are some days that I am so calm and patient. Then there are other days that I snap and yell at the kids for fighting, or playing too loud when Les is sleeping. I try really hard to bite my tongue and talk to them calmly. If I can't I take a moment or two for myself, leave the room for a minute or two, then come back and handle the situation. Rest assure...you are not alone.
No advice. Mean mommy has come to stay at my house. I don't think nice mommy will come back until daddy is out of the army for good.
Aside from yoga and meditation..no help from here. I also struggle with nice wife, grumpy wife. The list goes on. Just keep breathing. And talk about good aunt/forgetful aunt...I can't believe we let Addie's birthday pass! It's the same as Olivia's!
We'll have to arrange a joint birthday party for next year.
Did I tell you what Caitlin said when she found out that Addie doesn't live in Utah? "Oh Darn IT!" I probably already said that.
We love you guys!
Hey Miriam time for some new stories..hasn't Addie been up to enough mischief lately? I saw your note about Diegos. Yes it is true that the real Diego's is G.O.N.E. gone. There is a big ugly bank there now. The new Diego's is close to that near-BYU-Smith's, the people who run it are friendly, but I think they just bought the name. The nachos are not as good. Even Sam agreed that they were a bit hard on the stomach...so it is not just my oldness. I thought some tacos al pastor at a nother table looked good but I was too shy to ask for a bite. The one historic thing about the new Diego's is that I ate there on the night before William was born. It gave him a good send off, so it may still be worth checking out.
We love you! Get busy on your blog...you don't have censorship to use as an excuse!
Love,
Megan
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